Monday, February 13, 2012

Cookies for Anxiety

Growing up, I had a lot of trouble fitting in.

I've been thinking a lot about the past and although I'm sure this isn't an uncommon feeling, I was trying to figure out why I had such a hard time.

I felt really out of place when I was a kid, and I still do. And I'm wondering, how is it possible to feel this way within my own age group? Should there not be more commonalities between my peers and I? Ten years down the road and I realize only a handful of my friends are my age, I'm constantly surrounded by and associating with older people at work, and I'm developing tendencies strangely similar to my dad. The last one may or may not have anything to do with this.

What I'm getting at is I really seem to connect with people five to ten years older than myself, and so I feel older, too. I'm anxious and I can't help but feeling time is running out and I need get my act together and accomplish something before I'm too old to do the things I want to do. Whatever those things are.

I forget that I'm actually still quite young.

I have time. I need to breathe. And make some cookies.

While these were in the oven, and I was peeking through the oven door (see? anxious.) I was feeling particularly bitter. It's probably because Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I have no one to share these cookies with.

Shouldn't I have met someone by now?

It doesn't make sense to be having a quarter-life crisis seeing as how I haven't reached my quarter-life yet. I'm not even the type who yearns for a partner. I've always been ok with being single. Even on Valentines day, even at Christmas. These kinds of thoughts only cross my mind once in a blue moon.

If you have a special someone, I hope you will both enjoy tomorrow. If not, well, it's not the end of the world. Besides, you are probably like me and are younger than you feel, or your time just hasn't come yet. Either way you still have time to meet people. Right? Right.

And, in either case, making a batch of cookies is never a bad idea. I used this recipe with homemade strawberry jam and then drizzled some chocolate over top. I'm so festive. Cheers!


  1. Oh, Alicia - I'm so there!
    I wish I could come over and spend v-day with you. I'll be spending the day working and then sitting in my studio with a paintbrush and a big bar of chocolate. Who needs valentine's day anyway!

    I'm the same way with relating to much older people, too. I hardly have any friends my own age (maybe 2 or 3?). I guess it doesn't help that I'm super introverted and need to have a lot of time by myself before I go insane either.
    But like you said - you're still young! You still have many more valentine's days to come! All the more to look forward to, right? And plus - how many billions of people are in the world? There is someone out there waiting to meet you. More than one person, actually. And I know this because I'm psychic (not really) and I'm giving you my knowledge.

    Now. As to the cookies.
    YUH-UM! I need me some jam. It's been like - 2 years since i've bought jam. MAN.

    1. Yeah, high five! Good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. You can't go wrong with chocolate, anyhoo. Hope the day went well for you.

      Oh god you sound like me, especially the part about needing lots of alone time... or /else/.

      Haha thanks for the words of encouragement, you're the best!

      Whaaa crazy. I love jam. I know it's mostly sugar but... hey. Someone needs to make some naturally-sweetened jam.

  2. Yeah I'm super independent. I couldn't imagine spending most of my time with another person. My dad used to hate that I went out to places by myself, like concerts and stuff, but now that I'm older he's pretty much figured that it's just the way I am.

    I'm guessing you're around the same age as me, so we have plenty of time to roam around though, right? :)

    I think I saw a naturally sweetened jam at my local food co-op once, but it was a weird flavour. Like guava or something. I just like plain old strawberry jam. I do like guava though.

    1. Yes, we must be around the same age. Strangely, I don't think as much about it over the internet. That's right! (:

      Oh snaps, someone got there before me. Not surprising, really. I have never tried guava. I like to fool myself into thinking I'm some kind of fancy pants, but I also just like my plain old strawberry jam. Can't be beat, in my opinion.